Smart JokesStart - Smart Jokes

A fine collection of smart jokes: fun with and about words.

This is a collection of intelligent jokes and some funny stories for children and so-called grown-ups. This is a colorful potpourri collected over the years. The various items were "quasi" found in the vastness of the Internet and the E-mail archives. However, the greatest care was taken to admit only high-quality gems into this illustrious club - from the top shelf - so to speak. Even though there are countless websites of this kind on the net, most of them display either a not filtered bulk or have a disturbing distance from the good taste. Regarding the assessment of the quality, mis-interpretation is difficult to avoid, and there will be deviating opinions.

Smart Answer

A little Prayer?

Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Half Full or Half Empty?

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Common Sense?

During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, NASA quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of $1 million. The pen worked in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth.

The Soviet Union, when faced with the same problem, used a pencil.

 

The Difference Between Dogs And Cats

Smart Thinking

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me...THEY MUST BE GODS!!!!!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me....I MUST BE A GOD.

 

 

How To Break Up

Tales Of Mere Existence

A funny and smart video (by Lev Yilmaz) on breaking up. Not to be taken too seriously (you might get depressed).

 

Caveat: All generalizations are evil - and I have made more than a few in this little rant in an attempt to paint with broad brush strokes - please accept my apologies in advance.