Smart JokesStart - Smart Jokes

City of Los Angeles - Math Test

A piece of humor about mathematical word problems, set in the context of an urban criminal environment.



NAME: __________________

GANG: __________________


  1. Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?
  2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?
  3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800-per-day crack habit?
  4. Jarone want to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?
  5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4X4. If he has stolen 2 BMWs, 3 4X4s, how many Chevies will he have to steal to make $800?
  6. Raoul got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?
    Extra credit bonus: how much more time will he get for killing the bitch that that spent his money?
  7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint free?
  8. Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Hector knocked up?
  9. Thelma can cook dinner for her 16 children for $7.50 per night. She gets $234 a month welfare for each child. If her $325 per month rent goes up 15%, how many more children should she have to keep up with her expenses?
  10. Salvador was arrested for dealing crack and his bail was set at $25,000. If he pays a bail bondsman 12% and returns to Mexico, how much money will he lose by jumping bail?
  11. Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a Boa Constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Bernie makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can he feed the Boa on one week's income?
  12. Billy steals Joe's skateboard. As Billy skates away at 35 mph, Joe loads his .357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his magnum, how far away will Billy be when he gets whacked?


Do not use this at school, especially not in the USA. Dozens of teachers have gotten in trouble, for doing so (even with entertainment purpose).
The joke employs the myth, that teens from urban centers are steeped in a drugs, guns, gangs, and promiscuity culture. So, in order to be relevant, even the math questions have to be framed in that context