Smart JokesSmart Jokes

» Aviation Jokes … Pilot to Tower »

Good Morning

Pilot: "Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back, please."
Tower: "KLM 242 expect start up in two hours."
Pilot: "Please confirm: two hours delay?"
Tower: "Affirmative"
Pilot: "In that case, cancel the good morning!"


Tower: Lufthansa 893, number one, check for workers on the taxiway.
Pilot: Roger . (brief pause) . We've checked the workers, they are all working.


Pilot: "Tower, give me a rough time check."
Tower: "It´s Tuesday."
Pilot: "WHAT?"
Tower: "Tuesday afternoon ..."

Fuel State

Tower: "Say fuel state."
Pilot: "Fuel state."
Tower: "Say again."
Pilot: "Again."
Tower: "Arghl, give me your fuel!"
Pilot: "Sorry, need it by myself..."


Controller: "Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago?"
Pilot: "Negative, Sir. It's only the same pilot.


Controller: "Mission 123, do you have problems?"
Pilot: "I think, I have lost my compass."
Controller: "Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel!"