Smart JokesSmart Jokes

What Developers Say vs. What They Mean

What Programmers Say vs. What They Mean

Programmers are a cagey lot, and most are quite opinionated in their own sort of way. But when a programmer says something it more often than not means something entirely different. Here's a translation guide that I found initially on Google+ and which I modified & extended.


These little hints about the hidden meaning in the language of developers is IMHO hilarious, and hopefully also understandable for neophytes! I hope all programmers out there take it with a very humorous grain of salt. I'm sure somebody could do a similar graphic for just about any profession on Gods green earth.

Programmer-English explanatory dictionary. Finally, programmers can make themselves understood.


Programmer — Translation Guide  
What Progammers Say What Progammers Mean
Horrible hackHorrible hack that I didn't write
Temporary workaraoundHorrible hack that I wrote
It's brokenThere are bugs in your code
It has a few issuesThere are bugs in my code
ObscureSomeone else's code doesn't have comments
Self-documentingMy code doesn't have comments
That's why it's an awesome languageIt's my favorite language and it's really easy to do something in it
You're thinking in the wrong mindsetIt's my favourite language and it's really hard to do something in it
I can read this Perl scriptI wrote this Perl script
I can't read this Perl scriptI didn't write this Perl script
Bad structureSomeone else's code is badly organised
Complex structureMy code is badly organised
BugThe absence of a feature I like
Out of scopeThe absence of a feature I don't like
Clean solutionIt works and I understand it
We need to rewrite itIt works but I don't understand it
emacs is better than viIt's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war
vi is better than emacsIt's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war
IMHOYou are wrong
Legacy codeIt works, but no one knows how
^X^Cquit^\[ESC][ESC]^CI don't know how to quit vi
Suboptimal implementation The worst code ever inflicted on humankind
That can't be doneIt can be done, but it's boring and I don't want to do it
No problem, people do this all the time. It's an easy fix. You might be the most idiotic person I've ever encountered
Put that bug in the backlog with low priorityLet's agree: nobody ever mention it again and ppl who do, will be shot
These test environments are too brittle Works on my machine. Have you tried re-starting yours?
Proof-of-ConceptWhat I wrote
Perfect solutionHow Sales & Marketing are promoting it