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Who is Hu?

The leader of China?

The fictive conversation Who is Hu?: between the President of the US and his Secretary of State about the new leader of China. The wit only works in English.

By the time it first appeared in the internet, the following persons where leaders of the USA or China:

Hu Jintao

(born December 21, 1942) was the leader of the People's Republic of China (appointed in 2003), holding the titles of President of the People's Republic of China, Chairman of the Central Military Commission and General Secretary of the Communist Party of China, succeeding Jiang Zemin in the fourth generation leadership of the People's Republic of China.

George Bush - aka "President"

(or George W. Bush, or George Walker Bush; born 6 July 1946) was the 43rd president of the United States of America, inaugurated on 20 January 2001 and re-inaugurated on 20 January 2005.

Condoleezza Rice - aka "Secretary"

(born November 14, 1954) was the 66th United States Secretary of State (she was the second woman (after Madeleine Albright) to serve as Secretary of State). Before she joined the Bush administration, she was a Professor of political science at Stanford University.

Yasser Arafat

(1929 - 2004) was a Palestinian political leader. For several decades he hold central positions in the “Palestine Liberation Organization” (PLO), the “Palestinian National Authority” (PNA) and the “Fatah” political party.
Ideologically he was an Arab nationalist and although he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize (1994: together with Yitzhak Rabin and Shimon Peres) he remains a controversial figure. Most Palestinians view him as a heroic freedom fighter. Conversely, most Israelis regard him as a terrorist, while Palestinian rivals (like Islamists or PLO leftists), often denounced him for being corrupt or too submissive in his concessions to the Israeli government.

Kofi Annan

(1938 – 2018) was an international diplomat from Ghana who served as the 7th “Secretary-General” of the United Nations (UN) from January 1997 to December 2006. He and the UN received 2001 the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the founder of the “Kofi Annan Foundation” and the chairman of “The Elders”, an international organization founded 2007 by Nelson Mandela.

Conversation

President: "Secretary! Nice to see you. What's happening?"
Secretary: "Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China."

President: "Great. Lay it on me."
Secretary: "'Hu' is the new leader of China."

President: "That's what I want to know."
Secretary: "That's what I'm telling you."

President: "That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?"
Secretary: "Yes."

President: "I mean the fellow's name."
Secretary: "Hu."

President: "The guy in China."
Secretary: "Hu."

President: "The new leader of China."
Secretary: "Hu."

President: "The Chinaman!"
Secretary: "Hu is leading China."

President: "Now whaddya' asking me for?"
Secretary: "I'm telling you Hu is leading China."

President: "Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?"
Secretary: "That's the man's name."

President: "That's who's name?"
Secretary: "Yes."

President: "Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?"
Secretary: "Yes, sir."

President: "Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East."
Secretary: "That's correct."

President: "Then who is in China?"
Secretary: "Yes, sir."

President: "Yassir is in China?"
Secretary: "No, sir."

President: "Then who is?"
Secretary: "Yes, sir."

President: "Yassir?"
Secretary: "No, sir."

President: "Look, Secretary. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone."
Secretary: "Kofi?"

President: "No, thanks."
Secretary: "You want Kofi?"

President: "No."
Secretary: "You don't want Kofi."

President: "No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N."
Secretary: "Yes, sir."

President: "Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N."
Secretary: "Kofi?"

President: "Milk! Will you please make the call?"
Secretary: "And call who?"

President: "Who is the guy at the U.N?"
Secretary: "Hu is the guy in China."

President: "Will you stay out of China?!"
Secretary: "Yes, sir."

President: "And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N."
Secretary: "Kofi."

President: "All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone."

Secretary (picks up the phone): "Rice, here."
President: "Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?"

This example about phonetic is mainly based on homophony (a word that is pronounced the same as another word but differs in meaning) and polysemy (words or signs which have multiple meanings).

 

 


 

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